I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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