I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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