My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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