i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
