champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
