you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
