HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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