So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
