Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
