and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
