you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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