When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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