uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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