That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
