3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
