So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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