break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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