You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
