im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
