We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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