He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
