Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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