Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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