So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
