The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
