Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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