put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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