he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
