plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize