its not stalking. its research.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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