If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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