Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
