I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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