There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Enjoy the penises
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
