you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
