I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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