In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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