I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
