but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
