What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
