I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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