he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
