The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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