well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
