i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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