...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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