Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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