so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
