i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
