I have demons in me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
