My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
