butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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