its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
