Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome