fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
