I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
