She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
