Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
