Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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