It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
